Jules’ Dating Dictionary

I love slang; it’s one of my things. Over the years, I’ve had to explain some apparently-bizarre phrases to friends and family. Especially my mom; she always wants explanation on social slang. Like what EXACTLY ‘hooking up’ entails. So, for the sake of clarity, I’ll keep a running Dating Dictionary à la Jules.

Coined by Yours Truly

geek chic: it’s smart, it’s sexy– in DC, it’s what we are; unlike the older Urkle variety, we don’t lack social graces or fashion; we have a keen intelligence, fierce ambition, and the passion to prove it; whether we’re determined to make it as the next mind-blowing DJ or are expanding our Hill resumes to eventually run for office, there’s something we all share: that certain je ne sais quoi of sophistication that marks us; we have class and style

rockstar crush: [n] stranger or distant acquaintance that, for vague or mildly unfounded reasons, you’re infatuated with; may be due to small details like the way they walk, the shoes they wear, the drink they order, or some small habit like the fact they drum along to their iPod or mouth the words from the book they’re reading; varying theories on how to respond to rockstar crushes [pretend to ignore them, appreciate from afar, approach and make contact, etc], but one thing is undeniable– everyone has them

monoga-me: stage of life where one does not wish for a monogamous relationship with another, but instead needs to focus on themselves; it’s the time to explore who you are and what you want out of life, when a committed relationship would only distract you with exploring someone else instead; opposite of serial daters, but not quite a determined state of singlehood


R.A.D.D.: “Relationship-Attention Deficit Disorder“; “RADD lifestyle”; the love-lifestyle of meeting multiple new people in a short amount of time, and loving it; if done in a passionately hyperactive style, possibly even RADHD; does not imply commitment issues, but simply a period of singlehood happiness that does not require monogamy or limited options; characterization of the Monoga-me identity

R.A.D.D.-erall: an individual who manages to combat the symptoms of RADD and subsequent lifestyle; first encountered recently in the form of my Mick


Mainstream Terms

a date: [n] true definition unknown; referenced only in ancient mythology and folklore; unconvinced it exists; “a lost art; replaced by casual meetings for lunch or coffee where the bill is dutch and parties wear jeans”

The central purpose of my blog: to explore what this means to anyone anymore.

single: [adj] my current state of being; social/ emotional/ sexual freedom to say ‘heyyy’ to anyone you want; this cracked me up:

“S: stay 
  I: intoxicated 
 N: nightly 
 G: get 
 L: laid 
 E: everyday”

talking: [v] the social stage above ‘friends’ but below ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’; the cause of much confusion in the dating world, and possibly a DelMarVa-region term (I had to explain this to many out-of-state friends in college); typically limited to PG-13 boundaries

“Oh, are they dating?”

“No, they’re only talking. He’s fair game.”

hooking up: [v] incredibly ambiguous phrase, personalized to each user; to me, it is PG-13 activities; keep in mind, PG-13 movies are showing all kinds of hanky-panky these days, so it’s generally ‘anything-but’ territory

dating: [v] a term of some controversy, since I use this in reference to the pre-commitment phase, while others only use it in reference to monogamy; an activity with declared romantic intentions and activity at any level; synonyms: ‘seeing each other’, ‘we don’t do labels’; antonyms: Facebook-official

“Dating is a prearrangement, with a chance of love.”

Say Anything (1989)

friends with benefits: [n] friends by day, sexual partners by [occasional] night; mutually-agreed upon as without emotional attachment; unlike the same-titled movie, this isn’t necessarily always a bad idea; sometimes called fuck-buddies, but I separate the two terms

fuck buddies: [n] self-explanatory; sometimes included with friends with benefits; distinction: fuck buddies don’t necessarily have to be friends; I think these are people that use each other solely for sex, therefore can be distantly friendly like acquaintances, and only called upon in a time of need; definitely without emotional involvement

booty call: [n] “a late night summons via telephone to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad hoc basis” is the best definition ever; often accepted as a ‘no-strings-attatched’ situation; most assuredly involves massive amounts of alcohol; sometimes between friends with benefits, or fuck buddies

Walk of Shame: [n] the early-morning walk home from a hook-up, wearing either your clothes from the night before or those borrowed from your sleepover partner; usually, for girls, included smudged make-up, missing earrings, and distinct looks from strangers; unaware of boys getting much social grief for it, if ever; usually resulting from a booty call

macking: [v] I always knew it as a term for making out, along the lines of ‘necking’ from the good ol’ days; recently, I was enlightened that it can also mean shameless flirting

** The quoted definitions are credited to any goofball that contributes to Urban Dictionary.



  1. Pingback: Sex With Friends | Dating the District - May 15, 2013

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