Dating the District

The Confessions of Millennial Tribute in the Capital Let me give you a scenario. You’re trying to take your love life seriously, and being set up by your friends just isn’t cutting it. First, you go to networking events to meet someone; it’s met with equal failure. So you suck it up, brush off your … Continue reading →

What a question! Oh buddy, am I in trouble. It has now been six months since I last wrote [refresher: Luck of the Irish]– eep! Yes, I’m still alive, kicking ass, and taking names [i.e. job applications]. Sorry about that. I could blame work, friends, job hunting, or Martian invasions, but we all know the reason: a boy. … Continue reading →

The few times in my life someone has mistakenly quoted the ‘when you least expect it’ cliche, it has typically ended in heart-arresting glares or a smack upside the head. [If you say something stupid, I will punish you.] Unfortunately, this spring had a twisted sense of humor for many in the District. The past … Continue reading →

There’s something uniquely reassuring in the comfort of Sex With Friends [trademark pending?]. There is a different sort of intimacy that comes out of camaraderie. You know each other in ways distinct from someone you’re dating or romantically interested in. There is less rose-tinted idealizing. I might admire a friend, but I don’t put them … Continue reading →

A friend asked me last week if I was afraid of going downtown, on the metro, or being in DC in general right now. I was confused for a second, before I realized we had been talking about Boston a few minutes before. There are few moments when I can be rendered speechless. It’s a … Continue reading →

There’s that old saying about which is thicker, and therefore deserves the ultimate loyalty. (One is decidedly more drinkable; please don’t test it.) But I learned from a Cracked article [where I learn most of my baller/ meaningless trivia] that the proverb’s been twisted. It doesn’t refer to your biological family like we think these days– … Continue reading →

Hey, folks! After quite a hiatus there [sorry about that], I’m back! And what a weekend to swing back in on. Happy Easter-Who-Thrones-fest! So we all know I’m an epic nerd, bringing new levels of kickass to our geek chic culture here in DC. Not only is it Easter, the world’s best-sundressed holiday for eating … Continue reading →

The internet has been seeing a lot of restaurant checks and server horror stories lately, most notably the “Redditor Waitress vs. Non-Tipping Pastor”. And now, I have joined their ranks. When I first heard about it, I thought, “Way to do God proud, Pastor.” Then, when I heard she later called and got the waitress … Continue reading →

“Your’re drunk,” said Amused Jules, to the four guys at the table next to us. “Yea, and after brunch, we’re going to get group tattoos of our crew’s name!” Hipster Flirt responded. “What the hell is a ‘crew’? Is that the yuppie version of a gang?” Confused Jules asks. True story. Sunday afternoon, my girlfriend … Continue reading →

Happy MLK-Obama Day! Ooooh, I’m excited enough to burst. Two of my favoritest people in the world are renewing their vows this weekend, and I couldn’t be happier! Barry and Joe have been together for four years, and what a whirlwind their relationship has stirred. They’ve had their ups and downs, but in the end, … Continue reading →

There’s an undeniably perverse sex appeal to smoking that transcends rhyme or reason. I know, I don’t like it either. It’s a bad penny that keeps showing up in your pocket, covered in grime, but somehow still works. I can’t help seeing it and thinking, “Yea, alright then. I’ll let it slide.” Somehow still ups … Continue reading →

Overwhelmed with scheduling holiday parties, making sure you don’t miss out on cultural events, or tracking down those seasonal activities you always seem to miss? Or the worst: not taking advantage of those favorite seasonal beers/drinks finally back for winter? [Speaking of which, where did my whiskey-nog run off to….] Yea, I have trouble with … Continue reading →

Tomorrow, I will be seeing my high school sweetheart for the first time in eight years. It’s a crazy thought on so many levels. The fact I’m getting to see him; the fact we’ve kept in touch over the years– hell, the fact it’s been EIGHT YEARS. I’m not even close to old enough to … Continue reading →

You know how Star Wars started off brilliantly, sucked for a bit in the Empire Strikes Back, and then nailed it again in the final film? Because that’s been my past few months. Wait– you’re not a 40 year old nerd-virgin [nerdgin?] reading this at 4 a.m. in your parent’s basement between Halo games? My … Continue reading →

One day, I received a text from my sister saying, “My friend’s pet rabbit ran away!!!” Naturally, I empathetically responded, “Oh no! They need help looking for it?” “Nope. Now it’s just some bunny that I used to know.” DAH-DUN-CSHHH! So in case you were wondering, these are the types of shenanigans White House Interns … Continue reading →

It’s all fine and dandy for advice columnists to write about “putting yourself out there” romantically, or “staying positive” on the job hunt. That’d be just peachy, if I had picked up your article to save on a psychiatric bill– but I’m not here for my mental health, I’m here to figure how to get … Continue reading →

“Once upon a time, offline wasn’t even a word… You caught someone’s eye across a room. Your stomach leapt. There was chemistry. This was back in the time of romance. Back in the real world.” –The Offline Society Hello, world! So I’ve joined on with the Pink Line Project as a society-and-dating writer– three hips and … Continue reading →

It’s Friday the 13th, and the day before France’s and my birthday– oh lordy, Washington, you’re in for a whole mess of trouble! As I rattled off a list of increasingly elaborate specialty cocktails and hot-weather treats the other night that I’ve planned for Saturday, my friend Theon’s expression grew more and more amused. With … Continue reading →

“If you go home with somebody and they don’t have any books, don’t fuck ’em!” -John Waters Learn it, love it, live it. You hear me, readers? I know you agree with me, because your idea of procrastination is to read this blog, and not more inane pop-culture, like watching President Obama singing ‘Call Me Maybe’ … Continue reading →

Get your minds out of the gutter– I’m talking about height. As a rather tall woman myself [stretching out to an often-contested but even 6″], height has played quite a role in my life. But hey– if Jessica Rabbit was a statuesque sex symbol with a shorter, adoring man, then anything is possible, right? I keep … Continue reading →

I’m not a patient person– what can I say, it isn’t one of my virtues. (The ‘good things come to those who wait’ cliche has always made me nervous.) So this tends to be quite the struggle in both my work and love lives. How long should you wait to call? How long is ‘too … Continue reading →

One of the greatest adjustments one has to make once you move to DC is a fantastic one: your geekiness no long marks you as an outsider. Whether it’s on a date or simply getting to know new people in general, we of the dweeby variety are pretty used to self-categorizing ourselves with a sense … Continue reading →

I profoundly love my neighborhood, and here’s why: I can no longer count the number of times I’ve been in line to hop on the bus, and a guy’s held out his arm to let me go first. And it’s not only guys my age trying to be flirty– I’m talking ages eight all the … Continue reading →

Sometimes after telling a friend about my most recent flirty shenanigans, they ask how I get up the guts. How? Easy-peasy: I just do it. Seriously, it’s that simple. You have an impulse struggling to break free from the prison you’ve locked it into in the back of your mind? Slip it the key. Or … Continue reading →

My friends and I were ‘those kids’ in chem class that rushed into the lab, turned our Bunsen on high, half-read the directions, and ended up with foam everywhere or frightening/ awesome balls of fire shooting from our station. It’s not that we were idiots (well, not all of us); a number of us went … Continue reading →

“DC is like dating in Grand Central Station– everyone is coming and going and moving too fast to really see,” he tells us between sips of beer and over the music and noise of Marvin’s. How to get guys to talk about their feelings: get them very drunk. The other night at the bar, with … Continue reading →

I’ll admit, the “shit people say” trend is cracking me up. I’ve ignored most of them, but a few snuck by and stole a few giggles. What I’d love to see one for, though? Pick-up lines. They’ve been on my mind lately. Who am I kidding? That’s always on my mind. I’m what you’d call … Continue reading →

I love it when I get to the point in dating when the guy asks “So what, are you looking for a boyfriend or something?” My response is an easy one. “No, I’m looking for consistency, not monogamy.” I love getting that question, though. Most of the time, it’s asked in a tone of voice … Continue reading →

If I don’t want to kiss a guy by the end of a first date, then what’s the point? There, I said it. I’m not in the market for a frog prince—I’d like a post-transformation guy, with no sign of sliminess to be seen. I really don’t think that is too much to ask. I’m … Continue reading →